I am, obviously, going through some massive life changes again. My daughter is graduating this year, and I am struggling to keep her on course. My home, that I have rented for the past 5 years, is now being sold and I must relocate. My business, which I expanded this Spring, is in desperate need of a cash injection. The wolves are circling, and I am trying to keep it together. Sometimes you just need a meltdown to refocus.
I have felt the tears threatening as I'm driving home for the past few days now. So, that is what I did when I got home. I went to my room and I cried. Then, I poured myself a glass of wine, and I took a bath. The problem is, when I breakdown, everyone panics. Suddenly, the steady hand at the helm has wavered, and the crew freaks. Even my dogs are worried. By the time I emerged, feeling refreshed, the house was a ghost town.
Why can't I lose it every now and again? Is this a testament to my strength or my inability to ask for help...or both? I know that I will survive this. I know that I will find a way. I'm not perfect, though. I am not as omnipotent as my family thinks. It is time for me to marshal my resources...emotionally and financially, and put my big girl panties on... but after my good cry.
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