Last night, my man and I went to view the RV that will become our home. It was intimidating in its size! Imagine a double wide trailer squeezed into a travel trailer. There was a king size bed, an island in the kitchen, microwave, stove, walk in closet, and even a washer/dryer! It was nothing like I had envisioned, and yet, it was perfect!
As the men spoke, I wandered through the place imagining what would go where. It was almost like moving into a fully furnished apartment. We have no need for any of our furniture, since it is all built-in.
My man was glowing. He was so happy and proud. He was chattering away as my mind has been turning to the work ahead of us. It is amazing how many things you can accumulate over the years! About 2 years ago, I got rid of my old bedroom furniture, and 3 of the drawers had items that I couldn't part with at the time. Those same 3 drawers have been under my bed now for 2 years, and I have yet to look through them. I'm almost afraid to look, lest I find some treasure that I was able to live without for 2 years, but now is too fabulous to part with.
In preparation of this, I have been gradually bringing items to my office and assimilating them. I think the hardest part is going to be my books. Books become like a treasured friend over time, and though you may never actually read them again, you just might. Books whisper to you over the years, and when you do pick them up again, it is almost as though you a reading a new story. There is so much you have forgotten as your mind has compartmentalized it into a category: READ - WAS GOOD - MOVE ON.
I feel my office suite morphing into an extension of me. I see the pieces that I strategically place amongst the mass-produced accessories, and it feels like home. I try to lock away my most private belongings because the thought of strangers fondling, I mean admiring, them is too much to bear. I have already resolved that at least one of my open offices will need to pose as a temporary storage for things like holiday decorations and pictures that have not yet been scanned.
I feel lighter. My shoulders, which have become like rock over the past few months, are tender and bruised, but relaxed. I am carrying extra weight around the middle that I have put on during these stressful months. I have yet to actually stand on the scale. Doing so would make it real. Instead, I am adjusting my habits. I have not had wine in over a week, so that is saving some calories at night. I have also brought groceries into the office, so I am not tempted to go out for lunch, and am able to grab a snack between sessions, rather than gorging myself because I am starving after a long day. I have been unable to get a much-needed massage due to my insane schedule, so I am stretching and practicing mindfulness. Most importantly, though, my business seems to have finally broken through the agony that was 2015. It is like the morning after a giant storm...lots of cleanup, but no more damage.
The greatest lesson of 2015 was to let go. I never really understood the Buddhist philosophy of detachment. To me, that just meant not caring. I think I'm beginning to understand a bit more now. I think it means that I need to not be so attached to a particular outcome or process to said outcome. I have micromanaged the hell out of my life and family and job this past year, and was met with brick wall after brick wall. Being attached to a particular plan creates blinders that block you from other, more creative, solutions. That is not to say that you should run through life aimlessly, but rather, pick a direction and stay on it, while also being aware that the Universe (God) is guiding you if you just pay attention. I think that is truly what mindfulness and detachment mean.
On another note, I know someone getting rid of lots of stuff. Let me know if you need some! ;-)
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