All Things Come In Time
Yesterday, my partner and I, with grudging help from my daughter, moved my office from the suite that had been the bane of my existence for the past year, into a new, spacious office with a window that looks out onto a nature preserve. I am surprised that my man actually didn't murder me, since by the end of the night, our nerves were frayed. Somehow, we managed to get it completely done, and I was able to prepare my room for business.
It will, no doubt, take me months to get my office just the way I want it, but I don't mind. The hardest part was trying to incorporate 5 rooms of decorations and supplies into one large room. I donated, stored, and hid what I could. My car looks like it belongs to a homeless person, since I have things piled inside. I guess there won't be any reason to lower the convertible top for a bit.
The thing is, I can breathe now. I have finally moved from my house, and moved from my large office, and things are falling into place. I finally feel as if I have a handle on my life for the first time in a very long time. With every decision I make, the next step becomes clear. I have finally positioned myself to climb out of the crater I dug for myself.
I just came in from outside. Our RV backs up to a large lake, and it is filled with ducks and turtles. As I was sitting on a log, enjoying the sunset, a turtle was peeking up at me from the water. I called to Adam to bring me some bread, and we fed the ducks and turtles together. I can actually feel my stress melting away. I wonder why I allowed myself to get so deep before I stopped. I need some time to just be alone with my thoughts and ponder my motivations.
I am also 3 days into the Atkins diet. I have attained the Holy Grail of ketosis, and have already shed a few pounds. I do not know the exact figure, because I stopped weighing myself months ago. I can tell you that I lost 1.1 lbs overnight, and I know I was down before. I feel lighter and better in my clothes already. The occasional lure of Pinot Grigio whispers to me, but I have been able to quash the urge. Adam just called me to see if I wanted some Thin Mints that the Girl Scouts were selling at the store, and I replied with a resounding NO. You see, during the past few years of chaos and stress, my cortisol levels have been insanely high. Now that I have been able to rein in the craziness, I do not feel the siren call of wine and comfort food like I did. It has taken me years to put on this weight, so I can't expect any sudden miracles, but it is always gratifying to see the weight slip off when you give up carbs.
Finally, I can just breathe again. I am striving to limit my encounters with people who bring me stress. As I am able to get on a more stable financial footing again, I look forward to traveling. Adam has already decided on the Everglades first, but I'd like to explore further North. One day at a time, one step at a time, all things come in time.
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