Yesterday, my partner and I, with grudging help from my daughter, moved my office from the suite that had been the bane of my existence for the past year, into a new, spacious office with a window that looks out onto a nature preserve. I am surprised that my man actually didn't murder me, since by the end of the night, our nerves were frayed. Somehow, we managed to get it completely done, and I was able to prepare my room for business.
It will, no doubt, take me months to get my office just the way I want it, but I don't mind. The hardest part was trying to incorporate 5 rooms of decorations and supplies into one large room. I donated, stored, and hid what I could. My car looks like it belongs to a homeless person, since I have things piled inside. I guess there won't be any reason to lower the convertible top for a bit.
The thing is, I can breathe now. I have finally moved from my house, and moved from my large office, and things are falling into place. I finally feel as if I have a handle on my life for the first time in a very long time. With every decision I make, the next step becomes clear. I have finally positioned myself to climb out of the crater I dug for myself.
I just came in from outside. Our RV backs up to a large lake, and it is filled with ducks and turtles. As I was sitting on a log, enjoying the sunset, a turtle was peeking up at me from the water. I called to Adam to bring me some bread, and we fed the ducks and turtles together. I can actually feel my stress melting away. I wonder why I allowed myself to get so deep before I stopped. I need some time to just be alone with my thoughts and ponder my motivations.
I am also 3 days into the Atkins diet. I have attained the Holy Grail of ketosis, and have already shed a few pounds. I do not know the exact figure, because I stopped weighing myself months ago. I can tell you that I lost 1.1 lbs overnight, and I know I was down before. I feel lighter and better in my clothes already. The occasional lure of Pinot Grigio whispers to me, but I have been able to quash the urge. Adam just called me to see if I wanted some Thin Mints that the Girl Scouts were selling at the store, and I replied with a resounding NO. You see, during the past few years of chaos and stress, my cortisol levels have been insanely high. Now that I have been able to rein in the craziness, I do not feel the siren call of wine and comfort food like I did. It has taken me years to put on this weight, so I can't expect any sudden miracles, but it is always gratifying to see the weight slip off when you give up carbs.
Finally, I can just breathe again. I am striving to limit my encounters with people who bring me stress. As I am able to get on a more stable financial footing again, I look forward to traveling. Adam has already decided on the Everglades first, but I'd like to explore further North. One day at a time, one step at a time, all things come in time.
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