A Letter To My Love Upon Leaving

I am only an hour away from you, and I can feel an unsettled pit in my stomach. I know that we will only be a part for a week, and yet this feels as if it's forever. I haven't felt this kind of ache in many years. I love our new home together, and I hate that I must leave you to take care of business.

I remember the first time I felt an ache like this. I was only a young girl, and moving away from my first love. I remember feeling as though my heart would fall out of my chest. I couldn't breathe. Years later, I felt it again when my lover left me. I feel both happy and sad that I have this ache. I have become so divorced from my feelings for so long, that it is nice to know that I can still be affected. It is terrible, though, feel this pain.

I just want to turn my car around and rush back to you. I know that I could. I know that I could just run away from my obligations, and come back to you. I won't, though. To do so would be to betray who and what I am. I cannot do that in good conscience.

These next couple of months are going to be more challenging than I anticipated. I cannot believe that I will have to leave you every week for the next several months. I can only hope that these separations will make us stronger. I love you, my love. I will miss you, but I will also be back.


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