Searching for the Answer

http://www.countdowntofreedom.net/2016/06/searching-for-answer.html
www.freedigitalphotos.net, Tuomas_Lehtinen
There is a detached randomness to life. Raised Christian, I believed that God had laid my life before me, and when unexpected or painful things occurred, it was because it was His plan.

As I grew, I discovered my role in shaping my destiny. I had come to realize that my personal dreams, wishes, desires and beliefs shape the reality that I inhabit.

Finally, I have reached a level of detachment. I almost experience things like I imagine a deity would...mildly curious, slightly aloof, partially amused.

I have told myself (and others) countless times, "Things happen for a reason." I believe that, to some degree. Sadly, the only way to see the ecstatic beauty of it all is in hindsight. Only armed with experience, pain, and the culmination, are you able to see how perfectly a given moment gives birth to the future experience.

I have reached one of those moments now. A moment that occurred almost two decades ago, that meant little to me (so little that I have no memory to speak of) has ricocheted into the present. It is a puzzle piece that has yet to fit into the overall picture.

I have spent the evening wondering why. I simply have no answer. I cannot see the forest from the trees. I do pray that an answer comes soon.

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