Countdown To Freedom

I woke this morning with my eyes misting with tears. I am enduring, perhaps even wallowing, in the pain of my breakup, because I have never truly allowed myself to feel the pain and complexities of my emotions. I have found it useful to shove away the tears, smile through a broken heart, crack a joke when a careless word pierces my heart.

It is in the dark of night that I miss you the most. It is getting better, but it still hurts. I'm trying to stay busy. I go out with my friends, I work a lot, and I try to think about what my goals are.

It has been a week since I saw him last. I have packed a lot of living into this week. I have tried to stay busy, but I suppose I have just been avoiding solitude.

I thought I would have more time. I thought I would have about three weeks before I would hear from him. Yet, he texted me last night. I love him. Of that, there is no doubt. He has been a major part of my life for nearly 6 years now. I know that there have been issues, yet, we always muddle through it, much like toddlers in a sandbox.

I awake on the first day of my new life. I don't have work today, since in my old life, I would be driving back from Key Largo to Fort Myers. Over the weekend, I was able to get moved in to my new place. Last night, I cooked my first meal here. I awake this morning with a full day in front of me, and no agenda.