Loneliness in the Dark

It is in the dark of night that I miss you the most.

It is getting better, but it still hurts.

I'm trying to stay busy.

I go out with my friends, I work a lot, and I try to think about what my goals are.

I have struggled with trying to figure out what the right man looks like for me. I'm so mixed up about it all. When I meet someone, I mentally try him on, imagining our interactions. I compare him to you, to us. I also know that it is way too soon to even consider someone else. I would never want to be with a man who still wants someone else. That is just cruel.

I have been trying to become accustomed to my own presence. The loneliness in the darkness of the night can be terrifying. I try to gaze at my own soul and not run away. I suppose it is a little like swimming in the ocean. You know there are horrible creatures in there that can kill you, but you still have to learn to make peace with it. You can stay on the shore and never face it, but then you never see the beauty hidden below the surface.
So, when the terrible sadness creeps into my psyche in the dark, I have to learn to accept the fear and pain.
So, when the terrible sadness creeps into my psyche in the dark, I have to learn to accept the fear and pain. I have to just be with it for awhile. I cannot keep running away with friends and socializing and work, because, ultimately, it is me that I am running from. I'll never find peace until I can learn to accept my own soul.

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