Yesterday was a terrible day. I spent the day wandering about as if it were a nightmare. I cried. I consoled my daughter. I drank. I slept. I hid #Facebook "friends" that were crowing about their victory. A friend from France sent me his condolences. I even looked up the qualifications for relocating to Canada. Mostly, though, I pondered history, and what this moment means in the greater context.
It is true that civilizations come and go. Once upon a time, the Roman Empire stretched across the globe. Once upon a time, the sun never set upon the British Empire. When I was just a young girl, the USSR was the most frightening power in the world. I even think about the Roaring Twenties before the Great Depression, and most recently, the excesses of the Bush years, that led us to the Great Recession.
"I am angry with the greed and fear in the hearts of mankind that make us covet what isn't ours. I am angry with people who claim moral superiority, only to use that to bludgeon others with whom they disagree. I am angry with hypocrisy."I am angry with people who do not realize that there will always be people who need help. I am angry with people who do anything but love their neighbors. Do people not realize that rampant greed leads to economic hardship and resentment? Where is our sense of community? Once upon a time, the Confederacy was filled with wealthy landowners, until the Civil War decimated their wealth. Our country can only take so many hits before, we too, go the way of a failed experiment. My heart breaks for us.
"Our country can only take so many hits before, we too, go the way of a failed experiment. My heart breaks for us."One of the most masterful things that I have watched recently, is the ability of the #Republican party (whom I have frequently denigrated as uninformed and easily led) to understand the basest instincts in us and not only whip up our anger, but then direct it to a target. Already, those that have voted for #Trump are sitting back, congratulating themselves on their victory over the hapless and weak #Democrats. Ironically, this righteous anger that they feel against a system that has harmed them, has now been neutered and absorbed into the system, much as the #TeaParty and #OccupyMovement were absorbed. Anger is only useful if it can be used as a catalyst to right the wrongs of the world. This righteous anger has been dissipated like a pimple that has been popped, and they will sit back and allow themselves to be used and abused again. They have been mollified with the ease of a mother correcting her toddler.
My politics run somewhere along the line of the #GreenParty and the #LibertarianParty. I believe that we should care for our own nation, and stay the hell out of social regulations, but I also believe firmly that this land that we live upon is crying out from the abuse we have heaped upon it. For every mountain top that is stripped for a mine, we must replant trees. If Nature did not create a chemical, it has NO business in our water system. If an animal has been so hunted or threatened that we must consider protections for it, then we must look at our actions. Our relationship with the planet is very much like a marriage. It MUST be a partnership. Marriages dissolve when one partner does all of the taking. Industry has become like the abusive spouse of the Earth, raping, abusing, and destroying all that she has to give, with only token presents to soothe her pain. Earth is not a gift to mankind to exploit and destroy. If you honor and treasure her, she will provide all that you need and more. It is such a simple concept, yet one that has been lost.
I feel very strange. That really is the best way to describe it. I feel mildly displaced, somewhat settled, on the right track, but still a little "off." I feel stress symptoms in my body, so I know things are not completely right. I have to wonder how much of this is tied to my anxiety over this election. I know that I will survive, but I am very concerned about my future outlook. I also hate the tenor our country has taken. I find that I barely look at social media anymore. I only keep my accounts because my family and friends are on there.
I have immersed myself in #KeysLife, although, even as I type this, I realize that I haven't. It is true that I live here now. It is true that I work here now. The problem is, that I do not have any friends here, with the exception of my partner. I am part of his world now, and it is up to me to carve my place in this new location.
The position I have accepted is fine. It is a good stepping stone to get established in a new place. They are across the street from me, so I can walk to work. I think part of my problem is that I need to get "out there," but I am hampered by money concerns. Until I begin getting paychecks from my new employer, I am not able to run and explore as I would like. The weather has also turned a bit, so lounging on a beach is not really possible. It is time for me to turn inward, and ponder my choices.
This morning, I awake with a better outlook. I have accepted that there is nothing I can do to change what has happened. For at least the next four years, this administration will do as it pleases, and there is little I can do to affect it. I shall immerse myself in building a new life, and possibly a new business. I shall plant my seeds of happiness and joy wherever I can. I wish you all peace.