I have decided to buy a van. I don't want a fancy RV or big, bulky thing. I want something discrete enough and small enough that I can park wherever I want and easily manage it myself. The internet is literally filled with DIY designs, and I want to be a part of this.
I have been struggling for months. Within the space of less than a year, my youngest daughter moved out, I left the home I had lived in for 5 years, and I had closed my business to relocate to the Keys. I have wondered if my discomfort was just recovering from the whiplash of my life, or some greater concern.
My partner had purchased a 40ft 5th wheel trailer for us when we were back in Fort Myers. His reasoning is that we would want all of the room for the both of us (plus dogs). In theory, he was correct. After all, we have years worth of stuff to discard, and it is more psychically difficult than you can imagine. Of course, after you purge it, you feel light and amazing, but the road there is a challenge, and one that he especially struggles with. He is a collector, and just can't pass up a great deal. It drives me nuts.
I feel like my vision has been co-opted, though, and I don't like the feeling. This 5th wheeler is big and cumbersome. There are no weekend getaways or excursions. We have basically just moved into a trailer. I feel weighted down, while he's nesting. I have been bored and restless, longing to make new friends, working until I hurt my shoulders and hands, cooking, watching tv, driving aimlessly up and down US1. I even considered opening a new business, just to have something to occupy my time.
The problem with having too much time on my hands and no projects is that I fall into bad habits. I drink wine while watching reruns of Night Court. I cook huge meals that we'll never finish and I feed the guys around here and the dogs. I blow money on stupid things. My partner and I argue over silly things. I am afraid to even step on a scale. I barely even write anymore, since my muse is too busy laying on her ample ass.
So, I was relieved to finally articulate what has been bothering me for months. I am reclaiming my original vision. I am buying a van, gutting it, and rebuilding it into my little sanctuary and vacation vehicle. I can't wait to get started!
|Read More from this Series|
|Vacation Van Vision|
|So, This Happened|
|Reject Or Adapt?|
|Dreams for the Future RV|