Showing posts from April, 2017

First Night in the RV

I spent my first night in the RV last night. Since I was off work on Wednesday, I moved most of my personal things onto the RV. My clothes, books, and personal treasures are on here. I am moving slowly, only taking what is necessary, and trying to work it in. Obviously, there is little space for superfluous stuff, so I need to be mindful of clutter.

How Did I Get Here?

The wind is making the vent on top of the 5th wheel knock against the roof. It woke me at 2 am. I keep trying to fall back to sleep, but then it knocks again. I tried to adjust it, but it won't close completely. He is sleeping on the boat again. He let the dogs come to sleep with me last night, which is something he never does. I don't know if this is because he doesn't plan to sleep with me anymore, or to give me comfort. I love their warm little bodies pressed against me. They are great snuggle partners.

New Morning, New Reality

It is about an hour before I leave for work, and I am sitting at the kitchen table drinking my coffee. I woke alone this morning, and dressed for work. Since he slept away last night (presumably on the boat) I had to feed the dogs and take them out. He usually does this, but I suppose we have to rework our duties now. He came in a bit ago, and spoke very little. He dressed and had his coffee. He has now left for work, and spoke not a word before walking out. That is a no-no between us, because you never know if that is the last time you will see each other, so you shouldn't leave it like that. Even when we have been angry over the years, we always say goodbye.

Final Breakup, no, really

It's 12:57 am, and I'm laying alone in bed. Apparently, we broke up today...Or rather yesterday. I have some things to tie up around here, so I won't be moving out for a few weeks. What is remarkable, is how little I feel right now. I've truly been on the lookout for any feelings of remorse, regret, pain, anxiety. There has been nothing. The only thing that elicited an emotional response was my daughter's concern for me.