Countdown To Freedom

What do you do with the Tiger, once you catch it by the tail? I think about this from time to time, ever since a former lover made this analogy in regards to me.

Do you know why magic is so difficult for people to perform? There's one reason, really. Anyone is capable of creating magic. The problem is, people fear their own power. The moment you feel the hint of your own internal power, the power of the world around you, you realize that you will never be the same if you embrace it. 
We have been conditioned to fear and deny our innate divinity. We know that if we embrace power, we will never be the same again. Many will pull back in fear. They may look, they may covet it, but they will never take the step. That is the only reason that some create magic and some don't.
I have been working through my emotions since moving to South Carolina. Coming off of a break up from a long-term relationship, I had no idea what kind of damage had been done to my soul. After some time of hiding out and depression, I began dating again. I will never regret doing that. In addition to meeting some wonderful people, it has helped me realize just where I …

Many years ago, when I was still very innocent, I met someone. He was quite the ladies man, and he decided to make me his conquest. Over a long summer, we met daily. What I did not understand at the time, was that he could be patient with my fear and reluctance, because he had other ladies to play with at night. To this day, almost 30 years later, I will always appreciate the lessons he taught me.

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I got my first text from you being in Germany last night. As I suspected, I was unable to respond. I'm going to go today and try to address that. Don't know if I'll be able to, but I don't want to not be able to contact you the whole time. When you get back, we'll have to find an app that we can communicate through.

This week, I just want to take a moment to reflect on the weight loss I have achieved so far. If you have been joining me on this journey, please congratulate yourself for what you have lost.

Chocolate rum balls are a fun and festive dessert, as well as a great hostess gift at holiday time or a special Valentine treat. These truffle-like dense cake balls are flavored with chocolate and a kick of rum (so keep the kiddos away!). Besides being delicious, they are also portion-controlled, quick to make (you can whip these treats up in 5 minutes), gluten-free, and sugar-free.

You might think I'm exagerrating but I'm not. Whenever one of these cream cheese balls touch my lips, my brain sends out an alarm: CHEATING! CHEATING! CHEATING! But I, of course, know that the nerve endings in my brain are just spazzing out from the deliciousness that my tongue is experiencing.

I had a disturbing revelation the other day that I probably will not be able to send a receive messages from you for the duration of your absence. Perhaps, you're busy. Perhaps, you're with friends and family. Perhaps, you haven't realized that I haven't been responding. I hope that if you have actually sent me a message, you don't think that I'm just ignoring you.

Today, you are probably waking up in Germany. I have no idea what the time difference is, but I'm sure you're sleeping. I'm getting used to claiming you as my... whatever you are. You have been messaging me, not overwhelmingly, but certainly enough to keep me satisfied. I'm growing accustomed to your patterns, and I like that.

I sit in my little RV, listening to the gentle rain dancing upon the roof. It is like a soft accompaniment to my morning routine. The water dripping into the puddles on the saturated grass is like the tinkle of chimes. It is an absolutely peaceful morning, and my heart is settled.

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It is so buttery. I used 3 tablesp. Almond flour, 1 large brown egg, 1/2 teasp. baking powder, 1 1/2 tablesp. Kerrigold butter melted. Mix all ingredient  together, pour in my microwave bowl. You can use a ramekin or dish to make it, depend how wide or thick you like your bread. Microwave 90 seconds. Plated it and sliced it open and put a slice of garlic herb jack cheese in it. Pop it back in the microwave for 20 seconds. It was so buttery and moist it had such flavor, you can eat it by itself. Delish!!!

I'm feeling better about you and us today, my love. I went out with my new girlfriends yesterday, and we had a wonderful time. You texted me a couple of times during the day, and between that and them, I was satisfied.

1/2 cup - Coconut oil
1/4 cup - toasted coconut flakes
1/4 cup - cocoa powder
1 tsp - sweetener
1 tsp - vanilla extract
Mix together and freeze overnight

You're on my mind all the time now. You still haven't called me. I find that I justify that with the fact that you're leaving for Germany, and you're with all of your colleagues. I figure that you're probably just very busy. I rationalize that, as a German, you assume that I can take care of myself.

Ingredients 3-4 young coconuts – substitute 4 cups of coconut water if you can’t find fresh ones
4 tablespoons rehydrated water kefir grains or 1 packet of kefir starter
1 Ceylon cinnamon stick

I doubt you will ever see these postings. This is really just for me. My thoughts have been so troubled. I know that every time I hear from you, everything just feels right. The problem is, I don't hear from you enough.

Pizza Bagels
Serves 6
My version of a classic low carb standby.

This week, I am preparing for Hurricane Irma. I truly hope this thing goes far away, but I am prepared to leave, if necessary.


I have lost 57.1 lbs on the ketosis diet since April 21, 2017. That is roughly 4.5 months. I don't spend much time looking at macros or worrying about my meals, since I am fat adapted, and don't vary my routine very much. With that said, I track all of my meals in the MyFitnessPal app. This allows me to see where I am messing up, if there is a variation in my weight loss.

Ingredients (for 1 serving)
•    1 cup milk of your choice (I use homemade almond milk) – see here healthy and easy homemade milk substitute recipes
•    ½ tsp. ground turmeric
•    ¼ tsp. freshly ground black pepper
•    1 tsp. raw honey (or to taste)
•    ½ tsp. pure extra virgin coconut oil (leave this out when you use coconut milk)
•    Optional: 1 crushed green cardamom pod (or ⅛ tsp. ground cardamom)
•    Optional: 1 small cinnamon stick (or ¼ tsp. ground cinnamon)

Allow me my fantasies, and I will keep the glorious illusion alive, and create a fairy tale in which we can wrap ourselves and live as we most desire. Usually, the full moon is known for mystery, yet this one has cast a harsh spotlight on all of the secrets and betrayals of others that I have refused to face.
I have a tender heart that I hold up for anyone who may ask. At times, I almost feel like a toddler, asking a stranger to witness a treasure that I discovered. Perhaps, predictably, some adults will turn away, while others will smile patronizingly. Every now and then, though, someone will turn to look, and will gaze at my treasure with genuine interest and fascination. 
To me, a heart only grows stronger through connections with others. I try not to hold back, hidden behind a wall, because that is not a true life. A heart that is walled off and deeply protected never has the opportunity to heal and grow. I offer openness, and non-judgmental honesty, and I ask for the same in ret…

1 head cauliflower
salt & freshly cracked pepper
4-6 cloves garlic, peeled
1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/3 c cream
1/3 c grated Romano cheese
Salt & freshly cracked pepper

Prep time
5 mins
Cook time
3 hours
Total time
3 hours 5 mins

Tender and cheesy cauliflower is a cinch to make in a crock pot.
Recipe type: Side Dish
Serves: 6

Yield: 6 small tortillas
Prep Time: 30 min Cook Time: 20 min
Ingredients:
3/4 head cauliflower
2 large eggs
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
juice from 1/2 lime (add the zest too if you want more of a lime flavor)
salt and pepper, to taste

Directions:
1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. 2. Trim the cauliflower, cut it into small, uniform pieces, and pulse in a food processor in batches until you get a couscous-like consistency. The finely riced cauliflower should make about 2 cups packed. 3. Place the cauliflower in a microwave-safe bowl and microwave for 2 minutes, then stir and microwave again for another 2 minutes. Place the cauliflower in a fine cheesecloth or thin dishtowel and squeeze out as much liquid as possible, being careful not to burn yourself. Dishwashing gloves are suggested as it is very hot. 4. In a medium bowl, whisk the eggs. Add in cauliflower, cilantro, lime, salt and pepper. Mix until well combined. Use your hands to…

Ingredients
1 small to medium sized head of cauliflower - should yield 2 to 3 cups once processed
¼ cup shredded Parmesan cheese
¼ cup mozzarella cheese
1 egg
¼ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon basil or rosemary, minced (or dry)
½ teaspoon oregano, minced (or dry)
1 cup marinara sauce
1-2 cups mozzarella cheese

Bacon-Cheddar Cauliflower Chowder
(Low-Carb Alternative to Baked Potato Soup) Serves 8, 265 calories, 7 grams of carbs, and 15 grams of protein per serving

8 oz. sour cream
8 oz. cream cheese
16 oz. cheddar cheese, grated (sharp or mild)
4 oz. chopped green chilies
Green onion (suit your own taste)
1 c. chopped ham
1/2 pound chopped bacon
1 round KETO bread loaf, hollowed out