Since July, my life has changed radically. My last long-term lover was such a dynamic personality, that he literally sucked all of the peace from the room. I was in a perpetual state of chaos with him. We lurched from one emergency to the next, allowing me little time for reflection or introspection. For him, that was a way to avoid facing uncomfortable personal truths. For me, it was a torture that gradually led to my departure.
I love these silent mornings. There is no cacophony of noise from a loud TV. There is no sound of children screaming, or angry teens fighting about getting up for school. There is no male pontificating and offering opinions on every news story that crawls across the screen. Even my pups understand the need for silence, and they sleep well into the late morning. It is simply blessed quiet.
I have been pondering my life choices. I ran across a journal the other day, where I had listed my goals for the year. I realized that I had accomplished all of them in some form or fashion. Even the name of my blog, Countdown To Freedom, was a call to release from the drudgery and shackles of the daily grind. I find that I dance upon the schedules of others now. I work, I play, I relax. I nap when I want. I eat when I want. I work when I want. The best part is that I have no reason to feel guilty about any of this, because it is how I designed my life. I am letting no one down with my life choices.
As I was dating, I mentally tried on many lives with men. They had nice homes, stable jobs, and were quite gentlemanly. I remember, as one was showing me around his place, that I would never be satisfied living that life. A life of peaceful domestication is closed to me right now. Whether that will always be the case, I have no idea.
It occurs to me that I have always had the soul of a gypsy, but I allowed myself to be drawn in long enough to raise my children and provide a somewhat stable life for them. Now, they are on their own, and I have no one, save my two traveling pups, to worry about. I think that I have manifested the perfect partner for me, as well. It is still too soon in the process for me to bind our souls together, but he seems to be someone that could last. We will see how it goes when he returns from abroad.
Life is good, and I am content.
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In 2003, I embarked on a 10 day journey to Ireland on my own. I was a single lady, wholly unprepared for what was to follow. My plans and reality came crashing together, when I realized I did not plan out my trip as well as I had assumed. What was supposed to be a tour of Ireland, became a intimate portrait of life with the locals.
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