Two Weeks to Go

I have just over 2 weeks before I leave for my next adventure. I have my suitcases packed already, and I spent the day shipping some personal things to my new home. After sitting on my ass for the past 6 months, waiting for this nightmare Covid world to be done, I am ready for the change. 

In counting my blessings, this time has allowed me to reconnect with my mother, my daughter, my sweet grandson, and welcome my beautiful new granddaughter to the world. I admit, like many others, that depression and general irritability has made me eat more junk food and drink more wine than I would like. The hot sun in SC and FL have prevented me from taking my daily 5 and 6 mile walks that I enjoyed in the Spring. Since being evacuated from Mozambique and dumped into this crazy world, I have felt lost and directionless.

I have spent these months lamenting my lost trip to Germany and reunion with my darling German. The general separation from friends and lovers has hurt. I am left with a lingering sense of sadness and regret while trying desperately to remain positive. I read the news every morning before starting my day hoping to find any positive travel news, and I cannot help but despair. The world that I so love to explore is closed to me right now, and our "me-first" attitude is straining relationships with reliable allies. It makes me very, very sad.

I was speaking with a friend today that I have known for 25 years. I was telling him that, though I never really considered living or working in Hawaii, it will be a beautiful place to begin fresh. I will have no old friends, old lovers, family, or support, so life will be what I make it.  It is my chance to restart healthy habits that I have abandoned in this trying time. This is what I have been thinking about for the past few weeks.

Today, as I have been taking the definite steps toward my future, I have felt more control and optimism than I have felt for far too many months. I have been wrapping things up, mentally saying my goodbyes to the emotional bonds that still hook in my heart. If things are meant to be, they will be, and I must trust that this is the path that is meant for me right now. Soon, I will have a new job, a new home, new friends, new habits, and a new life. 

My blog is called Countdown to Freedom. I have felt that I was moving toward this for a long time, and in many ways I had claimed that freedom. Finally, though, I am doing this completely on my own, and I feel good. I feel strong. I feel ready.

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