When I meet a woman that still regards other women with hostility, I want to bring them into our circle of friends to show them there is another way. As much as I love the camaraderie of my girlfriends, I sometimes forget to reach out to them when I most need them. I was confronted with that lesson today.
As those who follow my blog know, I have been struggling with many life changes, and trying to find my "center." I have been buried with work, distracted by my daughter's upcoming graduation, an on-again, off-again 5 year relationship, and trying to figure out my next steps in life. My home has become little more than the place I sleep, and my friends alternatively see me all the time, or I disappear for weeks.
I have been fighting and pushing away those that could be the most help to me during this time, in some misguided effort to "figure it out" for myself. Amazingly, after one evening with my best friend, I have gained more clarity than I have had in months!
My first goal is to simply move back into my house. Due the upheaval, I really have lost my haven. Furniture that was discarded has not been replaced, since I was planning to move anyway, so what was the use? My books, in which I find so much solace, are packed away in boxes. My closet is becoming a storage facility. It is no wonder I can't find my peace. I have given away my home-base. Mostly, there is no urgency to leave. My daughter may not immediately be prepared to move out after graduation. No, it is not right next to my office, but that's ok. It's been a good place for 5 years. What is another one or two years?
I have other plans that I am considering, but this really feels like the first step I need to take. I know that through Feng Shui, your outer surroundings reflect the state of your mind. I have allowed mine to descend into chaos. It is time to break this self-imposed crazy. All I needed was a chat with my good friend. Thank you, honey!
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