Inner Critic or Early Warning Sign?

It wasn't so very long ago that I had a very active social schedule, and I was in The Flow. Nowadays, though, I am distracted and unsure.

I have read that if you are not moving outside of your comfort zone, you are not growing, but what if, instead of finding personal growth, I'm ignoring my internal warning system?

I have tried to always listen to my inner guidance. I have counseled others that your inspiration is truly your angels guiding you. I have learned to trust my instincts, understanding that on some level, I know the right way. Then there is the other voice: the inner critic.

I am usually able to silence "her," but occasionally she sneaks through like a frigid wind that seeps through your winter coat, and chills you to the bone. At those moments, I try to focus on my plan and forge ahead, but she is there, clutching at the outer layer of my soul, screaming her warnings. What if...? What if...? What if...?

I have been on this path now for quite some time. I am happy that there is movement, if for no other reason, but that I am sick of being stuck. It is not coming together as I had envisioned, but that is ok. I feel as though there is a lesson in this for me. I am having to learn to allow my partner to do for me. I am having to learn to trust others and not second-guess. I am having to learn to be comfortable with vulnerability, and it is torturing me.

Perhaps, I am just an adrenaline junkie. Perhaps, I am only comfortable with chaos, so when things start moving toward peace, I panic. Perhaps, I need to just chill out. Perhaps, everything is as it should be, and I need to just let it be. Soon enough, I will be settled in my new home, and life can return to normal...or rather, my new normal.

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