Key's Life

I'm tired. I feel like I can finally rest.

I brought my last carload to #KeyLargo last week. I had wrapped up everything, voted, spent time with my daughter, and even gotten to bed at an early hour. I woke at 2 am, and knew my sleep was done, so I left my apartment keys on the bed, locked the door behind me, and drove out of town. Instead of leaving with a bang, it was far more like a whisper. I felt like a literal thief in the night.

Since my arrival in Key Largo last Thursday morning, I have unpacked, rearranged furniture, taken a drug test for my new job, and even spent time at Fantasy Fest [related: You Know That Drunk Tourist in Key West That You Hate]. My man and I have also had our share of fighting due to the inevitable shake ups that occur when two adults who have spent the past 6 months apart have to relearn living together.

So, I'm tired. I feel like a need a month off. I can't afford that, though. I need to obtain gainful employment very quickly. I have obligations that don't understand major life changes...or at the very least, understand and don't care. I am trying to savor this time off, while also doing what I need to arrange said money-making opportunity. [related: Building a New Empire]

On the bright side, I have been able to cook again! It is lovely to play with spices and concoct savory dishes that lure my man in from outside. I miss having a stove and developing tasty treats. I've already made chicken and dumplings, spaghetti and meat sauce, and for tonight, I'm thinking a chicken stir-fry, though, who knows. The point is, that I can actually cook again, and that makes me very happy!

I miss my friends. I miss being able to call up my girls and meet for a quick cocktail and gossip session. I know that I will find someone here, eventually. I also know that I can call my friends and catch up on the phone. It's just not the same, though, and physical distance means that our lives will no longer be so entwined. I mourn that loss.

I also mourn my daughter's independence. She doesn't need me as much anymore. I even asked her to join me down here, but she has her own life now. She has had some hiccups along the way, but she seems to be back on the right track. [related: 13 Life Lessons for My Daughter]

The hardest part has been saying goodbye to my clients and my business. It does not seem particularly feasible to reopen a business right now, so I am faced with getting a job. I fear the loss of control. I fear that I will be asked to conform. I fear uniforms and paydays. I fear losing cash tips. I fear schedules that are not of my own making. I know, intellectually, that things will be alright, and that there is tremendous freedom in coming to work, then leaving it behind at the end of my shift. I also know that working at a resort means rarely having the same client twice. It means more fluffy massage, then therapeutic work. It means spa treatments like salt scrubs, mud treatments, wraps, and oils. It also means a much higher price point, and ultimately more money for me. I keep telling myself that I can do this. [related: I Almost Ran Away Today]

For whatever reason, it keeps raining. Rainy reason is supposed to be over, but it has rained consistently for the past week. It has cooled things off here, but any illusions of wandering the beach are done for now. I will try to venture out in a bit and clear my head. My man is at work, and I don't have any time constraints at this moment, so I want to get away. I am glad that the rough part is done, and I am looking forward to my new life here.

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