Time To Heal

I suppose things are starting to fall into place. I miss my life back in Florida. I miss my friends. I miss my life.

With that said, I do feel like there are things that I need to do here right now - namely, heal my wounds.

I am anxious to get started with my new job. I am hoping when that starts that having routine will help. I cannot believe that it has only been two weeks here. It feels like it's been a lifetime.

This has not been a very good couple of days. I've actually pretty much laid low. I did some shopping, then came home and binge-watched movies. 

I'm supposed to start work Monday afternoon. I need to get working. It's not about the money so much as the distraction. I've been busy working on things, so I haven't had a whole lot of time to ponder my life. Now that I have wrapped up many of the things that I needed to, I've had that time.

I don't want to carry anger and bitterness in my heart against him. I don't want to keep all of the hurtful, selfish, dangerous things that he had done during our relationship uppermost in my mind. I want to honor the fact that we had a long-term relationship and love between us, but we grew apart. The problem is I don't have the anger to keep me from missing him.

I know that I don't want him back. I know that we probably should not have gone back the last time we broke up. Arguably, we should not have ever have been together in the first place. We are two extremely different people, and we never could really find peace between us. I loved the passion and drama between us, but we really were not good for one another.

I wonder when I should consider meeting new people. Part of me can't even think about a new relationship, but the other part of me may like the distraction. I have noticed that I am being checked out from time to time. I don't even know how people date nowadays. Do you go on dating sites, do you do Tinder, do you get set up through friends, or do you just hope to run into somebody in a restaurant or a grocery store? 

I know that I cannot seriously consider dating right now. I know that I am not in the least bit prepared to indulge a relationship, and frankly I have no desire to wrack up any more one night stands. 

If I were back in Fort Myers, I would have my girlfriends to go out with. Here, I've been trying to reconnect with old friends, but these are people who have known me since childhood. We know so much of the past, but we don't know each other now. Not really.

I suppose that I just need a new project. If I'm working fairly regularly, I will meet new people and find a new routine. I know that's really my problem. I also know that it's just too soon. I've barely been here two weeks. It's just kinda lonely, and yet, I really just want to be alone.

Click Here to Learn More About Relationships

10 Days in Ireland: 
A Woman Alone on the Vacation of Her Dreams
eBook $6.99 & Paperback $9.99 on Amazon http://amzn.to/2tQ66un

In 2003, I embarked on a 10 day journey to Ireland on my own. I was a single lady, wholly unprepared for what was to follow. My plans and reality came crashing together, when I realized I did not plan out my trip as well as I had assumed. What was supposed to be a tour of Ireland, became a intimate portrait of life with the locals. 

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